14 March 2012

Film: 'Priest' (2011)

Q: Is it good?
A: No.
Q: Is it predictable, derivative, poorly scripted, and full of obviously fake special effects?
A: Yes.
Q: Do I love it?
A: ...Yes.

Okay, so the acting is wooden, the dialogue is bland, the story is...thin, to say the least, and the critics hated it. But it's fun! The unconvincing but spooky theocratic post-apocalypse setting is a thoroughly enjoyable piece of chilling escapist fantasy. The monochromatic desertified wastelands are quite beautiful despite being so obviously computer-generated, and the solar-powered bikes the characters race across the sands on at ridiculously high speeds are really quite cool. Oh, yeah, and it always makes me happy when movie vampires are grotesquely portrayed as slimy, insectoid, eyeless, cave-dwelling monsters rather than sparkly undead noblemen. These vamps are definitely not sexy, unless you have a massive thing for drippy grey slime. I suppose they'll never make a sequel to this film, but I really hope I'm wrong!




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